Finding Love
by MidnightMoon101
Summary: Elena muses whether she loves Damon Salvatore or not. Two-shot. Takes place after "As I Lie Dying".


_Disclaimer: Don't own the Vampire Diaries._

_A/N: Takes place shortly after "As I Lie Dying"  
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><p><strong><em>"Love is when you can be your true self with someone, and you only want to be your true self because of them.<em>_" ~Terri Guillemets_**

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><p><strong><em>"I learned the real meaning of love. Love is absolute loyalty. People fade, looks fade, but loyalty never fades. You can depend so much on certain people, you can set your watch by them. And that's love, even if it doesn't seem very exciting." ~Sylvester Stallone<em>**

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><p><em>It's OK to love them both, I did."<em>

Those words echoed in Elena's mind. What did Katherine mean by loving them both? She loved Stefan, but Damon, that's a different story.

Damon Salvatore.

What was he to her? Was he just a good friend or something more? When she first met him she regarded him as a heartless, arrogant, and selfish man with a dry sarcastic humor, and so much self-confidence. However, things slowly changed , he started _caring_. Yes, Damon Salvatore had a human side.

_"I need to say it once. I love you, Elena. And because I love you, I can't be selfish with you. Why you keep doing this-I don't deserve you...but my brother does. God, I wish you didn't have to forget this...but you do."_

Sadly, the compulsion wore off as soon as she woke up from her so-called death. Every day that memory kept coming back in her head. How a very sad and crying Damon declared his love to her. His blue eyes full of pain and sadness, as if he was tortured. Elena grimaced at that memory, it was too sad and heartbreaking. But, in a way showed Damon Salvatore doing something that few would've thought he could,_ to love_.

Elena bit her pencil. Damon clearly loved her, but could she also return those feelings? Truthfully, she felt good being around him, like that time when they were in Atlanta, how much fun they had and how carefree they were.

But there were times that he had upset her. Such as the time when he snapped Jeremy's neck, who thankfully wore the protection ring. Never in her had she felt so much hatred for Damon Salvatore. She wanted him to disappear off the face of the earth. She wanted him _dead_. And not forgetting that time he fed her vampire blood (even though he did it for love). All these times (and others more) she wanted to break any connection with Damon, but as if destiny wanted, they would in the end, somehow reconcile.

Elena was heaving a headache, and Alaric's teaching wasn't helping at all. She was so distracted with her thoughts that she didn't even know what the lesson was about.

_"I've made a lot of choices that have gotten me here. I deserve this. I deserve to die. It's OK, because if I'd have chosen differently, I wouldn't have met you. I'm so sorry. I've done so many things to hurt you._

_"It's OK. I forgive you."_

_"I know you love Stefan. I know it'll always be Stefan. But I love you. You should know that."_

_"I do."_

And then the kiss. Did she kiss him out of pity, or was there something more to it? After all, it was mostly a goodbye kiss, or maybe the perfect opportunity to do something that she never had the chance to do?

Elena smiled. The kiss had indeed felt good, and so _real_.

Did she betray Stefan by kissing his brother? Was she turning into _Katherine_? She frowned, and dismissed that idea. Katherine, was a manipulative, cruel person who had no regards for anyone else except herself. Even after so long, it still freaked her out how much her and Katherine were alike in appearance. But still, was she cheating Stefan? What if Stefan loved her because of the strong resemblance with his former love? He did deeply loved Katherine. Elena was shocked by that dark thought, and again had to dismiss her absurd theory.

She started thinking about the Salvatore brothers. Two brothers who both had fallen in love with the same girl, Katherine. She manipulated them like puppets, and in the end turned them into what they are now, vampires. It was a tragic story. From what she heard, Stefan had unwillingly forced Damon to complete his vampire transition, an act which earned him eternal hatred from his bigger brother. But unlike his smaller brother, Damon spent years and years looking for Katherine, looking for her love, which in the end proved to have been untrue.

In a way, the brothers were opposites of each others. Damon was the ruthless, indifferent brother while Stefan was the compassionate, kind one. They were like salt and pepper, day and night.

Elena sighed. God knows where Stefan was now, from what Katherine said, he turned himself to Klaus. Will he be the same Stefan she knew after they get him back, or will he be this unrecognizable person?

She also remembered that time when Damon thought he had kissed her, but in fact it was Katherine, pretending to be her. How crushed he was when she told him that Stefan will always be the one she loved.

Elena shook her head. She had so much history with Damon, but in the end, she still had no whatsoever answer to her troubling question: Did she or did she not have feelings for Damon Salvatore? He's always been in a way, her hero, saving her whenever she was in trouble, and he'd do anything just that she could be safe, even if it would mean sacrificing himself in the process. He's always been there for her, no matter what. His blue eyes, starring into hers, making her feel like everything was going to be OK. Behind those eyes she could see the man that he truly was; a loving and caring one. Whenever she saw him, she couldn't help secretly smiling, because being around Damon felt so good. He truly made her happy.

Elena's eyes widened, she was falling for Damon! Elena let a low chuckle, who would've thought that she'd fall in love with the bad brother? Deep inside, she always had feelings for Damon, but she never admitted to herself until now, because she just realized she no longer wanted to see him sorrow and heartbroken. He deserved to be happy, and it was Elena's mission to ensure that. And about Stefan, she'll figure it out as soon as they find him.

_"It's a good thing you have Damon to keep you company."_

Elena grinned, it was indeed a good thing to have Damon to keep her company_._

Because tonight, Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvatore will have to talk.


End file.
